WHAT DO THE PARENTS OF CHILDREN WHO HAVE BEEN HELPED BY MAGICAL CHANGE SAY? I have personally counselled approximately 150 children so far, working with Magical Change techniques, to help young people to make positive changes in their emotions, confidence, well-being, behaviour, quality of life and potential. So what do the parents of those children say after the event? Here is a selection of some of the very many positive pieces of feedback that I have received :- "What you do is truly amazing. You have single-handedly given E the confidence to feel a greater sense of self-worth and, as a parent, no matter how hard you try, you are just too close to help. She`s put her faith and trust in you, and what you do, and for that reason you really have given her the gift of personal happiness - along with the comfort for me, as her mum, to know she`s in a good place. Thank you for everything you have done." mum of E (aged 8) "She has been great ever since the Magical Change conversation, as far as we have experienced. Definitely, I am so delighted with how much she has come on. Her confidence is amazing. Best decision we ever made." mum of N (aged 9) "Everything you have done/are doing with O is helping so much. She was telling her grandma all about you helping her feel better. I really appreciate all the time and care you have given to helping her. It is hard as a parent to not be able to sort this ourselves and it is great to have someone to help." mum of O (aged 9)
"He is so much happier in himself and appears to be a lot more confident with everything. I really can't thank you enough for your words and advice over the last few months." mum of J (aged 14) "Her behaviour has definitely improved at school and the child minders - well I haven't been asked in by the teacher for a chat! At home she is better- still sometimes has melt downs and there is a need to repeat requests- but she isn't such a nightmare." mum of A (aged 8) "We did, as a family, witness an improved ability to find coping mechanisms when faced with challenging situations. She is certainly showing signs of increased resilience for sure. It is quite possible that she still employs the strategies taught through the ‘Magical Change’ techniques now, when faced with possible difficult situations, as will be inevitable in a young person’s life." dad of D (aged 10) Trudy has done a really wonderful job 😀. After the first two sessions, D told me that all of his worries about school had gone away. (And he joked that he was worried about not having anything to worry about 😂). This is a huge relief for us, and will hopefully be a permanent change for him." mum of O (aged 5) "At parents` evening the other week she was given glowing reports from all her teachers for work ethic, resilience and most importantly, just being an all round good egg. Things are going well - she’s more confident and seems to have a lovely circle of friends. Thanks for all your support. " mum of I (aged 11) "Just to say she so looks forward to speaking with you and whatever you have done is clearly having a positive effect upon her. During the past few weeks, I have noticed that she has been more forthcoming and sitting/talking with us all. It’s been lovely to see her happy, laughing and joking again. Her weekly talks with you have clearly helped as she seems more confident to talk openly with me about her feelings, which is good -because then it helps us to understand and support her more. " mum of E (aged 15) " Having to think about her week has been a big positive. Previously, she would never want to discuss her behaviour afterwards, saying “Let’s just forget about that.” Because she has to discuss it with you, it’s far more powerful." mum of C (aged 11) " Simply of her own doing, she auditioned solo for a singing lead at school! The only one to sing at that!! Sadly all the Y6 kids got the leads but the school have big plans for her!! Dumbstruck xx" mum of C (aged 9)
"With the help of the input from Trudy, he is being guided through this tricky time and he's gradually coming out the other side, hopefully with no lasting damage. He's happier, sleeps better, is easier to talk down when he is angry, is less aggressive. He has made and maintained some great friends and life is much less stressful for everyone, especially him." mum of J (aged 6) "Thank you so much for all your time and helpfulness, it was like a breath of fresh air to me." mum of F (aged 9) "She hasn't had any worries lately about going to events etc as far as I'm aware. She said she uses 'Trudy's techniques' to calm herself down when she's getting stressed and she feels it works." gran of L (aged 18) "He`s been brilliant.....thank you so much for taking the time to help my son." mum of J (aged 7) "The rest of the week has got progressively better and each day he has come home and been able to tell me about what he has been doing at school, people he has spoken to and homework he has to complete. All of this is fantastic to see. He is so much happier in himself and appears to be a lot more confident with everything. He has had various conversations with us about 'so and so said this and I was chatting to so and so about that!!'" mum of J aged 14 "I want to say thank you for all the help you've given to K. Her confidence has improved greatly." mum of K (aged 14)
"I often think about you and how amazing you were to L and with us. " mum of L (aged 14) " Then you stepped in. You explained what and why this was happening to both her and us. You explained how to fix it and WHO could fix it. This made her realise what she had to do. We saw her change immediately and she grew stronger and stronger. A massive thank you for your help with A." dad of A (aged 9) "Her anxiety has improved in that she is dealing with it better rather than having less of it. She is capable of calming herself better. I think what has been the most successful for her has been the process of reflecting upon her own behaviours and assessing her successes." mum of C (aged 11) I cannot thank you enough for helping me and my daughter and now she is much more confident." mum of C (aged 6) She seems so much more manageable these days and engages more not only with me and her dad but with other people too. She has her sense of humour back, despite having braces fitted" mum of G (aged 14) "We now have our little girl back, who is able to enjoy her life in a way a 9 year old should. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts." mum of A (aged 9) " She's come on so much in the last 6 months and she would never have done it if it wasn't for you Trudy. Your words of wisdom did the trick. She was even talking about you and what you said to her on our way to an event. It's obviously stuck with her ."
mum of J (aged 4) "She's doing really well - thanks to you - as I know it's really helped having an external support - from you. She wants to do well for you." mum of D (aged 10) "Hi, I think S is doing absolutely fantastic - even after a school holiday. I expected a wobble but he did his technique and he was fine." mum of S (aged 9) "What you have done to help J move forwards and improve his behaviour is phenomenal! I choke up every time he comes to see you for his little chat about his week." mum of J (aged 6) "O also told me how he feels very comfortable talking to you and how he feels you understand him - this is really pleasing and I would like to thank you." mum of O (aged 11)
"Thanks Trudy! Your help and support is very much appreciated. It has been wonderful to see how much it is helping O cope during this tricky period. Today was tough for her returning to school after being away for a couple of days while ill. It is her first 'school trip' today and the anxiety was quite bad. But she was able to cope with the uncertainty without too many tears. I know this progress is due to work you are doing with her. Thank you!" mum of O (aged 9) "T is well and looking forward to starting secondary school. His voice has broken over the summer and he is full of confidence which is great." mum of T (aged 11) " It`s like some huge relief. Some weight has been lifted and we are unravelling the brain now. I really cannot thank you enough for today. Onwards and upwards. It has answered so many questions for me as well." mum of C (aged 14) "Thanks so much for helping E in the way that you do. It truly is magical and wonderful to see the light back in her eyes. It means so much to us all and to her and it`s because of you" mum of E (aged 8) "I saw improvements within a month but it was a gradual process. His school life and home life is better and homework isn`t such a battle now. The positive thing was that I think he connected with you. He felt supported and enjoyed having someone to talk to." mum of O (aged 11) "I saw an improvement mainly within her home life and friendships. She still has meltdowns at home but they are usually less severe now. She is more empathetic and considerate in friendships. She appears to have matured in some of her thinking and behaviours. Having a weekly input was very supportive. She valued having someone to talk to her who was not judging her." mum of a child with an ASD diagnosis "I noticed an improvement two or three weeks in and she is still improving. She is prepared to tackle homework independently and mostly gets herself out of the house independently now. Her growing confidence has even given her a bit of an attitude :) " mum of a school refuser "I honestly can’t believe the difference in K since you started working with her. She seems to have a lot more control over herself and doesn’t feel quite so lost. Thank you for everything you have done."
N mum of K (aged 10) and then later the same mum wrote "Hi, I just wanted to say how grateful I am for everything that you have done for K. She walked into her new school this morning all by herself, with her head held high. 6 months ago I didn`t think that was possible. I honestly can`t thank you enough. "
Thank you so much for all your help. I was saying to my friend yesterday, out of all the people he has supporting him, I think you are having the most positive effect on him – I can’t tell you enough how truly grateful I am. I’d hug you if you were here!! xx J mum of O (aged 16) ( this boy had 5 other sets of professionals around him - including CAMHS, drugs and alcohol team and a psychiatrist) F is doing really well. It's like a weight`s been lifted. He told me he's been trying to do his breathing before bed - But he hasn't had to do it when he's been worried, because he's had no worries. :D
mum of F - boy aged 10 - after week 1 He’s like a different child, like something inside him has come out and he’s just amazing us all 💙 x
mum of J - aged 6 dealing with grief
With recent clients, I have asked specific questions about the process, after they have left the programme. Parents of E aged 17 yrs What was life like for and with E before the Magical Change Challenge?
Difficult and scary, as she didn't feel I could understand what she was going through and she wasn't talking to her dad much. As parents we felt unskilled as to how to deal with what she was going through, as we were so worried for her.
How is life now for E and the family?
Much much better, she seems more at peace. She still has moments of anxiety but is able to step back and recognise what is going on. Her eating is much much better. Her weight is still at the back of her mind (partly teenage years) but doesn't seem to influence much the way she eats.
What skills do you feel E has now, that she didn’t have before (if any) ? She seems more at peace and able to 'function' better. She is aware that she has self esteem and confidence issues, therefore tries to work around them as opposed to get lost in them. She needs to work on that to make the right decisions regarding her relationships, we are hoping she will recognise that.
What advice would you give to another parent about using Magical Change for children who are struggling in some way? We would definitely recommend this service, we felt we could trust she was in a relationship with someone who would help in a caring and gentle way.
If E feels better than she did before - what aspects of the sessions do you think worked or appealed to her ? Honestly she didn't share much with us, that in itself was quite good for her. She could talk to somebody independently away from the worried parents. We saw her blossom and change for the better. Parents of B aged 10 yrs What was life like for and with B before the Magical Change Challenge?
I was at my wits end before. B’s anxieties were spilling over and affecting her family relationships as she would take out her problems in bad temper. On top of that, we had the sleeping in her own bed issue.
How is life now for B and the family?
In terms of her sleeping issue, I have been really delighted with her commitment to tackling this. It has become a lot easier for her to do this on a nightly basis and it has made a big difference. I think that lockdown has taken the pressure off and she has found this challenge easier because of this.
If B feels better than she did before - what aspects of the sessions do you think worked or appealed to her ?
B has found a lot of value in speaking to you. She listens to your wise words and uses your techniques and advice that you offer, via the way you coach her. Using others‘ experiences seems to totally get her buy-in as she takes comfort in hearing that others share her thoughts and feelings. This is great. The sessions have certainly been of huge benefit to B, and the family, and at the moment she is a better person because of it.
What advice would give to another parent about using Magical Change?
Regarding advice for anyone else, I would have no hesitation in recommending Magical Change. It is a wonderful concept, delivered in a totally personalised way, that is engaging and thought provoking for the individual. Thank you again Trudy for all of your help! Mum of B - aged 11 What was life like for and with B before the Magical Change Challenge?
Before B started with Magical Change Challenge, he was prone to bouts of anger that he found very hard to self regulate. His father had become absent (not for the first time) and then his Nanny whom he adored passed away, weeks later. I believe he felt very low, let down, vulnerable and scared at that point.
How is life now for B and the family?
Talking to Trudy helped him realise that his feelings were relevant (not just to his family). That it was ok to feel scared, angry and lost. After a couple of sessions B warmed up. He began to look forward to his chats and the perspective that Trudy brought to his life.
What skills do you feel B has now that he didn’t have before (if any)
Trudy gave him coping strategies to deal with and understand his bouts of anger. For example we made a little safe and cosy corner in his bedroom. A new soft bean bag, cushion and rug, with some favourite books at hand. A place to go if things just seemed too much.
What advice would give to another parent about using Magical Change?
If as a parent you are considering looking for outside help for your child, do it! They love talking to someone kind and caring who is interested in their thoughts, but not personally involved in their day to day lives. With Trudy they can also track their success regularly. Its their own personal journey. I never discussed the sessions with him afterwards, it was his time. Trudy will show your child how proud they can be of themselves and how much their potential is, if they believe and have confidence in themselves.
What aspects of the sessions do you think worked /appealed to him ?
I believe that B does feel better than he did before. Trudy gave him the arena to be honest, open and frank about what was going on in his mind. What was positive and what was not, together with other ways and outlooks of looking at life. Trudy was incredibly kind, sensitive and generous to us with her consideration in understanding how we felt when we lost my Mum last year. She worked with B to help him feel and remember the wonderful positive things about his beloved Nanny. The penultimate session was sharing with B some inspiring and positive things that all sorts of people felt about him in his life. He was moved to happy tears! I am truly grateful for all of Trudy's hard work, dedication and fun sessions she shared with B. Mum of O - aged 16
What was life like for and with O before the Magical Change Challenge?
He was very unhappy, and had no friends, he couldn’t make or keep relationships. He self-harmed and had suicidal thoughts. He drank and took drugs as an escape from his life – sometimes leading to nights in hospital (on several occasions). As a family we found this very hard and so upsetting; his younger brother found this exceptionally hard, especially when he said he was going to `kill himself’. Every single day was a `battle’ - I think I cried everyday for a good nine months, at times I felt I couldn’t go on myself. How is life now for O and the family? Life is better for everyone, we still worry as parents do, but not to the extent that we did. The sessions with Trudy gave him the skills and confidence to speak to people, how to act, how to be around people and help and advice on how to start conversations and interact with people. This gave him the confidence to get a part-time job, which led to him finding friendships. He still has down days – but Trudy has helped him understand that in everyday life its completely normal to have down days, and that knowledge helps him to think `I’m ok, its just one of those days’. Before, the down days led to getting drunk, but now he manages those feelings. Don’t get me wrong he’s a typical teenager – and loves a beer! – but he does in the main , at the right time, in the right place. What skills do you feel O has now that he didn’t have before (if any) ? More confidence, comfortable with people he doesn’t know. Able to start conversations and build up rapport. What advice would give to another parent about using Magical Change?
Firstly, be open with Trudy, tell her what’s going on so she is aware of things that your child might not tell her. Your child must want to talk to Trudy. Towards the end he was always asking me “when is my next session with Trudy”. I knew he wanted to talk to her about something, which was great. Trust Trudy – she has a calm, non-judgemental approach. The sessions were confidential, sometimes with his agreement, I was brought in on them.
If O feels better than he did before - what aspects of the sessions do you think worked /appealed to him? Talking in a confidential setting ; help with building relationships and how to speak to people; Understanding his feelings - he used to think he was `weird` because he thought the way he did, but Trudy helped him to understand he's not - these thoughts are perfectly normal; timings worked around him. If 0 was where you were as a family at the start of our time together and 10 is the ideal, what number would you use to scale the improvement, or otherwise, that you think has been made across that time?
10 – he is a different person from when the sessions started – thanks Trudy
Mum of E - girl aged 9 - very complex needs, including selective mutism
What was life like for and with E before the Magical Change Challenge? Life has been extremely challenging with E, - learning about her complex diagnosis and searching for the best way to help. Seeing E struggling with so many aspects of ordinary every day life is very hard. How is life now for E and the family? Life has been generally better and I have seen E achieve some really special achievements, such as going to the park with a friend, playing in a room alone for 10 minutes, making a cup of tea, using some self-calming strategies What skills do you feel E has now that she didn’t have before (if any) It is very difficult to tell, as E would never verbally say. The fact that she has turned up to the zoom sessions in itself is a big achievement, And other than the Christmas period, she has seemed generally more confident. If E feels better than she did before - what aspects of the sessions do you think worked /appealed to her ? I think the games did. If 0 was where you were as a family at the start of our time together and 10 is the ideal, what number would you use to scale the improvement, or otherwise, that you think has been made across that time? We started at 3, went upto 8, but at the moment we are back at 3. However I now know we are capable of an 8.
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